I’m surprised Ivanka let herself be hidden in the back. I’ve heard she has a great body.

And once again poor Tiffany is barely in the frame. Always the Fredo of the family.

“A young audience and a terrific digital platform”, coincidentally, were Carlos Danger’s Anthony Weiner’s requirements for his online business, too.

The Trumps are as close to being ruled by European Royalty as Americans have been since 1776, and you know a lot of citizens are craving to be subjects.

Is making them look like they’re 13-year-olds just goofing off supposed to make them endearing to us?

Every time I’m at the store and I see one of those shitty Enquirer covers that either blows smoke up Trump’s ass or puts a giant unflattering photo of Hillary up with words like “jail” “trial” or “Benghazi” emblazoned across her face I give it the finger. Fuck you Enquirer, and fuck you US Weekly.

Yeah, I used to be somewhat proud of being from NC and it’s towing the center line on almost everything political. But this asshole completely fucked that up and not even hiding at my Librul Snowflake Mountain Microbrew Hipster Fortress of Tolerance in Asheville could make me stay.

Well, one’s the actual Queen and the other is 3rd in line, with two small children, so...

Jesse hit on me at a party. In front of my husband. Douche.

This would be Karla James. It’s not like she stands out as being particularly haggish compared to the rest of his harem. Maybe she doesn’t have enough white supremacy tattoos.

Also, can we talk about how fucked up it is that a woman who married a white supremacist (and now, obviously, a Trump supporter) is in charge of raising two Black kids? I mean, The Blindside was enough to establish her as a creepy white liberal with a savior complex, but this is just too damn much.

May all we Jezzies aspire to this.

I wouldn’t doubt this guy has some serious childhood trauma/ mommy or daddy issues. People cheat out of dissatisfaction, whether with their partner or with their life. My ex husband was amazing until he wasn’t. He had some very deep dark childhood trauma related to his mother and other adults and as a result was…

This!! Although I suspect the lying and cheating is the part he likes the best. Because he’s human garbage.

In one month he brought the unemployment rate down from 40% (!) to 4.7%. God let him celebrate.

I love how dudes who do fucked up shit manage to always play the victim card “Everyone was soooo maaaaad at me it made me feeeeel so baaaaaaad life is sooo haaaaaard.” I mean dude, fuck you. You were the architect of your own misery.

YOUR POLICIES DID NOT CREATE THOSE JOBS YOU FUCK WIT!

About a decade ago, I was making my way through Mexico, and I’d brought along a jar of homemade peanut butter from Hell’s Kitchen in Minneapolis to sustain me as needed. That stuff saved my life

You are both apostates! The correct peanut butter is neither creamy nor crunchy, but gritty - right out of the grinding machine. And hold the dextrose, thanks! When I was a kid (in the 60s) we spent a lot of time in Europe and my sister and I begged for (and were denied) peanut butter. We eventually discovered…

I’m going to take the bait.