Tugs the hearstrings.

At home. Icing, meet cake.

.

And that kick was also tipped, wasn’t it?

In fairness to Simmons, that did work out pretty well. #ripstringer

Did the 3rd base coach wave him on or tell him to stop? Because isn’t it the coach’s call in that situation?

And Scotty Bowman, Pep Guardiola, etc., etc.

OK, but how does your grandfather feel about John Wooden?

“My guess is that any 3rd-rate high school coach could win with that team.”

“Most of the NRA’s money comes from its 5 million members...”

I’ve been to Weber County many times and he’s probably not even the craziest redneck there. He’s probably worried about someone running to his right.

Copy that for eastern Wyoming.

Still the best fake Rolex story: https://jalopnik.com/the-funniest-story-youll-ever-hear-about-a-rolex-5980884

No worries, Merc - No way Mitch McConnell lets that happen!

Seriously, how soon before he awards himself the Medal of Honor?

I love buying something online, then getting ads for it the rest of the week.

So, at his next rally he’ll be wearing a sash and a bunch of medals, right?

And an oversized, silly-ass cowboy hat.

Ratios - even more fun with context!

Darn that pesky Constitution! And it’s actually worse than you thought - our population has declined since that 577 number was collected.