For some reason Ivanka’s jacket reads to me as “fascist future-space dictator”

That’s Khary Payton not Wayne Brady. I’m a weird nerd who researches all these things upon noticing that Raven is totally Twilight Sparkle, and Starfire is Princess Bubblegum.  

My folks got 4 rabbits last summer and it escalated extremely quickly. The females were unexpectedly already pregnant and then they escaped so they were all loose, and they agreed to rescue an extremely violent dwarf bunny. He was one of those ones with a short snout and enormous eyes that look like characters from…

My 7 year old was actually in tears last week because the kids in her class have been saying Trump will start WW3, and she was terrified that she would be drafted, but at the same time wanted to help protect Canada. So yes, our children are afraid Trump will invade us.

I take his remarks on rights issues to be not that far off from we talk about when we talk about intersectional feminism and the sentiment that “Feminism is for white women.”. I mean we have not fixed racism, and yet we’re onto the next issue? And yes, I think we should talk about these issues “In front of black…

That’s my Trump-sex-contract too, with the stipulation that he will be wearing a head to toe shroud with a peen-hole, and I am allowed to starfish and cry silently the entire time.

Jeremy Renner is NOT a potato.

It’s congruent with what we already know about where Trump sees womens’ worth. I have no doubt that some women do work in the upper levels of his businesses, but I think that it’s probably a safe bet that they all meet Trump’s unique definition of physically attractive.

He has another daughter, Tiffany, who he seems not to have publicly acknowledged since infancy when he famously speculated about her future breasts and legs.

But, like, do we really think Katy Perry is smart enough to throw shade?

Maybe because A few years ago there were 2 separate cases in my very small area of pregnancies that were hidden and babies born at home, murdered and the bodies desecrated for more easy disposal, but I don’t mind it being “too easy” to abandon a baby. I wouldn’t mind it being destigmatized to leave a baby you either…

True, but Ivanka didn’t really look any more like Donald before the nose jobs and breast implants. She was pretty enough to model in ads in Seventeen magazine (Lest we overstate the profile of her former modelling career)

I feel like it’s only right that I add that “Donald Trump-esqe” is a way cuter look on Tiffany than one might expect it to be on a 22 year old woman.

Can you even imagine the mixed up feelings you’d have if your dad kept making creepy comments about how hot your sister was, but never mentioned you at all? Like, on one hand, thank God, but on the other, like, am I not hot, dad?

I totally do say eh though?

I’m withholding judgement because of that whole thing where my Mom didn’t register the tongue in cheek intent and assumed Just a Girl was literally a song about girls being incompetent and untrustworthy. And then she tried to take away my Tragic Kingdom cassette!

I think it’s worth noting that men who are around pregnant wives and girlfriends on a consistent basis experience a surge in the hormone prolactin. Which is to say that you don’t even have to be the pregnant parent for pregnancy to change things. Dads get a surge of oxytocin from just interacting with babies too, so…

One year my mom got angry and threw the turkey into the driveway. My little sister retrieved it, we picked the rocks out of it, cooked it and ate it.

Well, now I wish I could be a matron of honor again so that I can throw a “Taco-Party” themed stagette. And just snicker quietly to myself the whole evening.

Oh man, my beloved, possible meth head, cousin came to my wedding reeking of BO after refusing offers of showers and deodorant. He then proceeded to aggressively hit on my sister in law (legal, but 11 years younger than him). When that didn’t work he attempted to make out with another cousin. And when the proposed…