Based on what is allowed in hot dogs, you've underestimated by at least 10, I suspect.

Ugh, brats with cheese chunks. The theory is solid: brats are great. Cheese is great. But those flavorless little cubes of American Non-Cheese Yellow Product Substance in an otherwise just okay brat make it all a fatty, bland tube of sadness.

I think I would react to this with all the subtlety of Nicolas Cage in The Wicker Man.

Why are there little chunks in the "mustard"?

I fixed their ad.

They should just call it "The Coitus" or "In Flagrante Detesto" or "Fucksgusting".

omg I KNOW

She was throwing shade at the jar. Because the next line was "everyone threw up."

Jia... I thought you made up the stuff from the newsletter. And then I followed the link and found out that that was straight reporting. I have no more words.

Two thoughts:

Last winter or so, Mr. Bells and I were heading home from a road trip when we stopped into a random Mexican place for lunch. We were seated in the second booth back from the entrance. The first booth, that we walked past on our way in, had a mother and her young son in it. Next to us was a table of maybe 10 people…

I like how Breanna Leung is completely unphased by the fact her coworker was just straight up hexed by a real life witch.

How is this not the #1 comment of the week?

Reminds me of a collegue of mine that was mother to 2 young boys and married. She came in one day in a tizzy and announced that there were "penises everywhere". She went on to explain that she felt "surrounded by penises" at home and that she was tired of "seeing penises". If I could have recorded her rant in…

*old man rant voice*

GOOD.

I could start faxing you pages from a 1996 JC Penney's catalog.

I use:

Oh. Now I get it.