I LOVE bad pronunciations. I worked at a pizza/bar place, and one of the pizza's was a potato pizza on a garlic base with saganaki cheese. Some guy comes in and asks my friend Liz, who I worked with, what saganaki is. Liz, who is otherwise irrepressibly helpful and friendly, for some reason, snapped. She looks him in…

Honestly, I would love a box of chocolates that consisted of cheese, crackers, and valium. That sounds fantastic!

seeing as we're getting all mega-honest and full on, i told the girlfriend of the guy i was boning behind everyone's backs for a year that no, we werent in fact boning, and i knew nothing of him being unfaithful, ever (to her face, after she asked me). That was about 10 years ago. THEN i've gone on to tell all sorts…

Choc-tops are amazing. They have no equal in the intersection of of chilled desserts and movie food Venn diagrams.

In C.A's defense, I think he does a really good job of weeding out the legitimate posts from the "waa waa waa"posts. And comments accordingly. For example- if EVERY story was about baristas getting pissed off at long winded blah blah coffee orders from difficult douches, then i think we'd all complain. The criticism…

Are you kidding me? Jeez. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I think it's partly because I don't spend my time trying to figure out how to dick people over.

Try having a strong Australian accent and work in the service industry. People think i dont realise that tipping is a thing, or that $2 is an unnaceptable tip on anything other then a single drink. They just assume that i naturally know how to do the job, that ive miraculously just picked it up (this being my first…

I CAN! You know how in a plane, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before you help others (including your own kid)? Thats because you cant help others to breathe if you cant breathe yourself. If we apply this to human rights>animal rights we can see that one cannot aid something that is being treated less…

Someone who doesn't eat mashed potatoes is far more offensive to me than vegans, vegetarians, and militant carnivores combined.

I am not defending the OP, but can you explain why human rights are more important than animal rights?

my real life boobs. I got this done after I was walking down a shopping strip in Melbourne and a girl walking ahead of me had little earthquakes tattoed onto her calf.

I would actually call that last one a win for the simple fact that you did not end up making an incredibly awkward joke having something to do with the word 'roofie'. It happens so often that sexual attraction + nerves = what in the everloving fuck just came out of my mouth?

Sadly, and upsettingly, i had this exact same thought. No one should ever be raped, ever. Its terrible.

she doesnt need context. Ive rejected my husbands sexual advances before, a few times, and i have sex with him ALL THE TIME. He still hasnt raped me. Am i lucky?

we had a "friend" growing up. I was the first, but it escalated after me. I woke up after a group of us partied and ended up passing out in a friends living room. Cam had moved himself so he was lying beside me and was trying to pull up my dress and get his hands down my leggings. I just kind of rolled away and he…

I have done all of the following to people I work with whilst at work (because i wanted to bone them and they didnt want to bone me)

AH HA HA HA HA HA H AHHA HA H AHA HA HAHAH HAHAHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHA H HA H AH AH HA HA H AH AHA HA HA H AH HA HA HA HA Ha ha ha ha. lol.

Oh, man oh man. My parents used to have show dogs that while never at Westminster, did travel around a lot in the southwest. The amount of time and money they put into that shit was INSANE. The feeding routine alone - by the time they were finished with one set of special little bowls of freshly cooked egg and…

Ah St Kilda. Who doesn't have a late night St Kilda story. When i was in my early twenties I never ever wanted to leave St Kilda. SO many memories and shenanigans . It's why I feel so strongly about them wanting to close the Prince Bandroom and build apartments... just ewwww and shouldn't even be considered.

You had me at Dr Pepper! Coles is starting to sell it again in their international food aisle for $2 per 300 ml can. I LOVE Dr Pepper...