I can’t remember his whole spiel, because my brain was filled with the enraged screams of my primal warrior ancestors and I was battling to keep a pleasant expression on my face.

You are cute and twee, like Zooey Deschanel. Proceed.

ITS ABOUT ETHICS IN RESTURERENT JOURNALISM

OI!!! I resent that comment. Regardless of how true it is and how insufferable we are on the topic.

This entire thread is why Australians are my favorite commenters.

I’m Australian. I know people who would do exactly that. My late husband among them.

Ever met an Australian? I totally believe it.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

Mark got married?!? Mazel tov!!!

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

Prayer, when you won’t help, but don’t want to look bad.

All the best people I know are dogs.

“Showed no signs of physical harm” my ass! Skin infection, lice infestation, and having to be fucking fed by a dog are all SIGNS OF HARM. Jesus Chile, get your shit together.

Incontrovertible proof of why everyone should be Team Dog.

Once again, dogs are better than humans.

The rabbit is such a perfect name for that dildo cause it’s like getting fucked by a rabbit. It seems like it was invented by a man with all its features. Its a vibrator, but it’s also a flashlight, a pair of scissors and a toothpick! Lelo is the way to go.

I hate all kids except for my own and I love the absolute bollocks out of that little kid. I want to squish him and hug him and make all his dreams come true.

As long as those women aren’t first nations. #Trolling