Wife material, pah. Whatever b*tch. I spent my twenties drunk and getting laid (mostly simultaneously). I had a roller coaster of adventure, I travelled, I swam naked in the sea, I got high, I got down and dirty with some ladies, I had heartbreak, crushes, love affairs, cheated, was cheated on.....then I met my…

Studies show that no girl who has random hookups ever gets married. You're either a hookup girl or a marrying girl, no exceptions.

I REALLY hope I dont get busted for saying this: in Des Moines there is a place called Twin Peaks (is a breasterant chain of some sort). Anyway, I know a bus boy who works there. All I'm saying is there may be dodgy practices regarding promotion and pay rates that are blatantly discriminatory. Needed to be said, on my…

(lets pretend im not married for a second) do you want to date me? Like, you know, start off slow with coffee or something? I would like to read back this incredible response and highlight all the bits that I love and read them to you and then explain why i love them. Is that creepy? have i turned into a mad creeper?…

See? For all the pains in the arse chefs are DURING service, I would take one chef in my corner over an entire army any day. Chef's are the bestest (I mean everything Ive said here with all the love and sincerity. You guys know you're a bloody nightmare to deal with sometimes, and as longtime servers, we love you for…

"microwaved as infants"!!!!!! GOLD!!!

"Microwaved as infants" is pretty fantastic, I can't lie.

You do realize I get paid to write on the internet, right? Like...this is my job? They pay me for this? It's AWESOME, thanks. But lol, have fun being a horrible human being and eventually dying unloved and alone, your last breath a desperate cry for someone, anyone to care about you. Lemme know how that works out for…

1. Tips are part of the cost of the meal, just as compensation for employees is a part of every single retail transaction. This is even specifically legally the case, as restaurants are typically allowed to not compensate servers at minimum wage.

You are a gigantic fucking dickwad.

...wouldn't be tipping for the meal and apologized nicely to the server for that.

Haha, you failed the minute you started to compose your post here to defend yourself. And fuck off with your groupon.

hey pinkham: be satisfied with your pathetic life cause being a server is all that you will amount to.

She said there was manager.

No kidding, friend!

Hahahaha, you're a walking hemorrhoid.

No, asking if a single simple substitution's possible really isn't that big an imposition. It's when you combine that with another simple substitution, a request to be seated somewhere special, and half a dozen other needy, passive-aggressive demands couched as "polite" requests that restaurant personnel start…

Well for one thing there is no 'scooping' of rice. It is pre portioned and there are only enough portions for the number of salmon portions they expect to sell that day. The salmon is probably not offered with other sides either. The salmon is probably served *on* the bed of rice.

So in your mind it's a scoop of…

I'm basically imagining the food equivalent of this GIF:

And I'll never have that recipe agaaaaaaiiiiiinnnn....ohhhhh noooooo.....