As another daily rider, I fully reserve the right to make fun of things that somehow manage to be worse than our home system. If you can make me choose the Red Line over whatever garbage you’re selling, it deserves to be shredded.

Dagny Taggart is a shithouse Dagny Taggart in her own right, to be fair.

This list sucks. Unless the movie is a car movie, no one is going to see someone climb into a car, fasten their seatbelt, adjust their mirrors because their daughter was driving it last, and then look both ways when pulling out of a driveway slowly.

Did...did you look up “sexy bird” gifs? Because you succeeded.

Yeah, I feel like people tend to ignore that sometimes there’s just a more right thing to do.

*Reversing a decade of my own contributions to mass incarceration to own the libs* is a new one.

Mildly interesting fact: there are neighboring towns named Londonderry and Derry in New Hampshire, in the States. 

This is good, but it’s too on the nose. It falls apart in the transition between the first two sentences. Try building up slowly instead, it might slip by someone.

jesus christ just take the train like a normal person, the planet is dying

That’s Kate McKinnon in prosthetics doing a really long bit...let’s see if she can stick the punchline.

He’ll still wipe the floor with this guy. Flake is making a calculation built on two premises:

You’re in a cafe in central Moscow, looking for a chocolate croissant or something. Standing in line, you take a look around at the other patrons: people in various hoodies, puffer jackets, general casual attire, and two men in what appear to be nice suits.

Clearly the right thing for anyone (innocent or not) in his position to do is withdraw his name, right? I was thinking about how I would react if I were accused wrongly (which I do not think is the same case as this), and I think I’d drop out.

I kind of wish people didn’t do stuff like this. There is no “destroying” Trump. He does not now, and has never, and will never read the comments. He probably knows there is such a thing as replying on Twitter but we know he doesn’t care, because he has never used it.

So the max he can get is ten years, which means he’ll get sentenced to five, which means he’ll be able to get out in 3, which means he’ll be out by election day 2020 when you subtract time served, which they will because this world is deeply, deeply unfair.

It also seems dumb because...isn’t keeping your most lucrative client alive a pretty strong incentive? Even if you doubt that Scooter is totally pure of heart, literally everyone benefits from keeping Bieber alive and well and actually able to create music.

It’s the latter, it’s all of those put together.

You can’t even sit at home on your own damn couch without these motherfuckers ruining your whole shit.

I think you’re conflating three different phenomena (but you’re not wrong to point out they look the same). When you say faux outrage, you might mean: