it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

“Paul feels robbed? Cry me a fuckin’ river. You know why he’s Rich, right?”
-Peter

They gave Kobe an Oscar that year for his poorly animated self-blowjob

Even for him, that was a pretty remarkable self-own.

Tom Beef’O’Brady ... congrats.

Kobe Fans Have Beef with Well Done Ranking

As dumb as this all is, I LOVE that Ben Chapino decided to jump in and defend Kobe by noting that he had THREE pretty okay years. Even by Ben’s own metrics Kobe was still not even a top 10 player in those three fucking years!

Ben, my tiny, tiny dude. “Just behind Brandon Jennings, and ahead of Jared Dudley” isn’t doing the work you think it’s doing.

Futz is a word. It isn't a derivative of fuck.

Drew - I read your piece on Trump in GEN this am and the first comment was some Church Lady bitching about your use of swear words.

Did you ever try to line up against Champ, point across the field and yell, “HEY, WHAT’S THAT??? just before the snap?

*Hours pass*

I’m going to the kitchen.

Okay but he sucked against SEC defenses too, so it's not like he was a promising prospect who needs seasoning. 

is this me growing on Nate Peterman?

See, I don’t understand it when people try to defend a quarterback’s lousy performances by saying that some of the games were played against competent football teams, and there was some inclement weather.

The context of those seven words, which should never be uttered in that order, is even better.

But he’s got some talent. He’s got some athleticism

Non-consensual kissing is not okay. That fact that the ball wants to give him a little kiss doesn’t give it the right to do that. I think the batter’s body language demonstrated his reluctance clearly enough that the ball should have known it was unwelcome, even if he didn’t explicitly say “No”. Best to use a standard…

That’s gotta be humiliating to look that dumb in front of hundreds of people.