Yeah my answers to all these are “My back hurts and my legs are cramping”

So long to all the grizzled vets of Deadspin and the comments. 

I think consistent weightlifting probably adds about 20lbs to the maximum viable weight, just because it gives a larger frame for everything to hang off of.

I thought this was a good idea

In light of this, I should probably issue a clarification on the wedding invitations I sent out instructing people to wear “Clown chic”. I think I’ll wait until I’m ready to replace the TBDs I put on the date, location, and name of the person I’m marrying.

In the interest of journalistic integrity and the spirit of representing Both Sides, I’d like to see an article asking these dogs what they think of Tom Ley.

Just made a three pound meatloaf with 2lbs lamb and one of pork. Added a bunch of thyme, shallots, onion, garlic, used oatmeal as the starch. It was divine. 

aka “I’m wearing a Knicks uniform”

My favorite part was the "wtf am I supposed to do with this" body language from the Knicks d every time he caught the ball deep.

A discussion of DC being taken over by Nationals Fever with a friend resulted in a great trivia team name: Cravats Askew

“I have a very thorough high-level cognitive appreciation for your lack of emotions, which I find inconvenient”

If we’re going to be including all these 80s bands as classic rock, then by all accounts Huey Lewis and the News deserves to be like, 37 on this list.

One number apart is too far for Foreigner and Bad Company, they’re the same band.

Brady is going to retire, the Patriots are going to sign Josh Rosen, he’ll take over as the starter, and lead them to victory in the first Super Bowl that literally nobody watches.

Finally conquering his arch-nemesis, so he’s free to focus on playing ball.

One of my friends was notoriously ambivalent to drinking (with a very low tolerance)...until she had a kid and now she’s 2 glasses of wine a night.

That...is 1.5 miles from my house...

Part of me suspects that’s how this post got so long.

I’d like to take this time to offer my condolences on the fact that you can no longer drink.

“Kanye is still a genius”