7-11? Someone fannnnncy.

Let’s be clear - puking in a bathroom of a gas station 7/11 off the interstate after you just spent the last of your money on meth is rock bottom.

Because Carmelo Anthony is a delusion diva and James Dolan is a fucking idiot.

Let’s be clear - puking in a bathroom of a gas station 7/11 off the interstate after you just spent the last of your money on meth is rock bottom.

oh man, Rivera is a trumper? Geezus, this whole age is so depressing.

It kind of blows me away that no one ever talks about the time his nephew died because he jumped into Rivera’s pool when Mariano wasn’t home and it was... electrified. On purpose. To keep the dogs out.

Jeter never called or corresponded with either in any way, and indeed to this very day neither have heard from Jeter directly

If I had Soros money, I would pay a small group of people to follow this shithead everywhere, boo him around the clock and whip acorns at his head. He and MAGAiano Rivera can get eternally fucked.

All these minor league teams giving themselves weird, super-localized names, and then Syracuse changes their name FROM the SkyChiefs TO the Mets (as if Syracuse could be described as “metropolitan”)? Check out this bitchin’ logo!

So this actually happened to me once! See, when you’ve got the lights in your eyes, and you’re not sure if you’re gonna be able to get to it in time, you get a bit rushed and scrape your hand on your zipper.

You’re conveniently leaving out their measurements for:

Thank you. I withdraw my troops suggestion.

Can they use the troops? I bet the troops would win.

“They need to hit guys the right way.”

Free Chris Paul

They could have run him over with the bullpen cart.

Concussing the other catcher? That’s a plunking.

I can’t wait for the next segment of “Tinactin a Fool”

Wrong, fucko.  Salmon is bad and isn’t a part of a balanced breakfast!

Congrats on joining us here at what I like to call, the punchline