Maybe it’s Bud Light and it’s both piss and beer.

Third base

Of all people, you’re surprised that this guy abstains from being a swinger when he encounters another dude in an unfamiliar position?

lotta guys out there robbing Peter for him

This Paul guy must have lots of money if they keep referring to him as “Rich Paul.”

That difference, of potentially $30 million, is completely beyond Thompson’s control, but you wouldn’t know it from his reaction.

Eggomania and you’ve got yourselves a religion on your hands.

This exactly. Why wait for the rush and have 5 minutes to eat?

The real benefit of eating lunch at 11 am is that it makes the whole process much more efficient and faster. If I go to lunch and get there at 11 or shortly thereafter, there’s no lunch traffic to fight on the drive, there’s no line to be seated, there’s no delay in getting my soda/food/bill, then there’s not much…

It doesn’t matter which one specifically. It realistically could have been ANY of them, which is sad.

If it wasn’t before it definitely is now.

I run in private mode, so I don’t remember anything. 

between now and 2004

I had no idea Ashley was still on the payroll.

please, no more.  this is all so depressing

Is this a sex thing? This seems like a sex thing. 

A member of the Deadspin staff who shall go unnamed claims to be an experienced horse jumper with the ability to clear a picnic table like Kirstine

I cannot remember the last time something I saw on this site has upset me as much as this has.

this is the stupidest goddamn thing i’ve seen on this website, and I watched the entire video of Barry killing himself with scrambled eggs.  fuck

I agree about dad and am mostly interested in your mom anyway.