Embiid is developing right on schedule. Like many rookies before him, he’s finding his comfort zone right after the all star break.

Tim Duncan is thinking of coming out of retirement and joining the Warriors.

“House, is there a Ewing Theory possib-”

I think you’ve got to rebuild. This year is obviously lost, so you’ve got to think about 2018. Curry isn’t fitting in with Durant. Might I suggest a straight up Curry for Carmelo Anthony trade in the offseason?

Is that you Bowser?

I too suffered a wrist injury after the Raptors got Serge Ibaka and PJ Tucker for Terrence Ross, Jared Sullinger and three low draft picks.

I’ll bite because I want to make sure I get the joke.

The Sixers are clearly just playing 12 dimensional basketball, which primarily involves stacking 5 players on top of one another and dressing them in a trenchcoat.

You misspelled “hot dog fingers.”

[Jim fiddles with his horse racing form while almost dropping the phone...]

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

Well, ok, but it doesnt prove youre NOT obsessed with him. 

“J. Matheli should have gone to law school.”
I know you’re a gambling addict, but have you ever considered that maybe you’re just addicted to throwing your money away?

Oh, I thought that was just called “Gawker.”

Yeah, my heart burns for you guys, too.

CRUCIAL UPDATE

i’m pretty sure nobody under 30 plays guitar. i know the guitar hero is dead. kids don’t play guitar anymore, which is among the reasons you can get a great guitar on craigslist for $100 now. Buying cheap, great guitars is the only thing that keeps me from getting depressed about what’s going on with guitars.

Patrick Redford is more of a PF Chang’s man.

Nothing.

It’s fun to eat briny things.