Wait...I haven’t coached since 2009...

My pet theory on Guerrero is that they didn’t want the Patriots brand being used to prop up something that didn’t make them money.

He said on twitter back in September that he was *this* close to not writing them a WYTS this season out of spite.

Patricia goes to Detroit, they they retain Jim Bob Cooter and we spend the entire season following the adventures of “Rocket Man and the Cooter”.

There it is(n’t).

He’s not just a benefactor, he’s also a client!

I find this headline to be unduly optimistic.

They should have just left him in the pointy hat.

Brocklynn, don’t get discouraged,
The Rom he ain’t so hard to understand.
Brocklynn, if you try now,
I know that you can lend a helping hand.

Made a great sauce for leftover Christmas beef tenderloin: Saute onion, garlic, and mushrooms, then add 1 cup red wine and 1/4 cup water, simmer for a bit to cook off the alcohol, and then add a packet of McCormick brown gravy mix.

The Celtics are still in first despite having played the most games in the league because of that weird London trip and having their first non-travel non-game day in over a month just this past weekend. They play only 2 back to backs between now and the end of February.

Personally, I’m hoping for death of the Gregorian calendar. This month crap is getting old.

Samer definitely didn’t impersonate his dad, but I wouldn’t rule out getting Marchman to do it instead.

I’m disappointed that this doesn’t touch on the one thing we all really care about: which commentors your parents like best.

aren’t you only nine years old???

Given the way people talk about going to see Hamilton, I think that’s where it belongs.

Goddammit, Leitch, you’re done. Next year, we’re getting Craggs to do this.

The biggest problem with googling “best rock songs of 2017" is genre mutation. Listening to Scentless Apprentice right now, there’s no way that doesn’t get marketed as a metal song. “Show Yourself” is definitely one of the best rock songs of 2017, but it’s on an album nominated for the Best Metal Grammy so they didn’t…

So where does “Deadspin’s Best Long Stories of 2017" fall on the “Deadspin’s Best Long Stories of 2017" list?

Note on the Alex Guerrero thing: I’m 100% confident that, in the true spirit of the NFL, the real reason the Patriots kicked him out is that they don’t want someone using the team to promote a business they don’t make a profit off of.