I feel like it’s one of those movies people go into expecting to hate it, so they will themselves into boredom. Saying the movie is boring, that nothing happens, there’s no tension, no payoff, etc, relies on such a weird misunderstanding not only of the film itself but of how storytelling works that I can only explain…

No tension? No payoff? I swear it’s like we watched different movies. What the fuck.

Well, I tried to be polite, but whatever. If you honestly found The Witch so boring, despite the fact that (again) literally every scene moves the story and the characters forward, perhaps you’ll enjoy Jigsaw. That sounds like more your speed.

I don’t get this complaint. There’s literally ALWAYS something happening. The story never stops moving. I must respectfully disagree with you. And thankfully I think history will remember it for the genuine masterpiece that it is.

resorts to insults the moment someone does not adhere to a certain code of conduct in a discussion the religious do not abide by themselves.

Why not both?

Doing Spawn as a horror film isn’t a bad idea. Even if Spawn isn’t the protagonist. The problem is that Todd does not give a shit about Spawn. He is coasting on brand name recognition to make a generic crime/horror film. He does not care about the things that made Spawn unique or interesting.

There’s still a couple months left.

It’s easy to laugh at the Dark Universe, but it must be said they’re in a much better position to course correct than the DCEU is. Warner Bros rushed the DCEU so fast they had a string of crap capped off by a massive success guaranteeing that a reboot, which would have been the best option, is no longer on the table.…

So, wait. You’re telling me you can’t legislate against evil...but...you’d probably say abortion is evil...but you can legislate against that...but...gun violence is evil...and yet...you can’t legislate against gun violence...

I’m betting Laurie Strode is the new Dr. Loomis figure, the Ahab hunting Michael down and trying to warn everybody about him before he strikes.

Wait, wait. You made an account in 2017 after lurking for years just to agree with someone’s very common and not at all original assessment of a movie that came out in 2009?

No, it made him a T-1000. He didn’t keep the parts from his T-800 body, he uploaded his programming into a vacant T-1000.

Suddenly I appreciate Get Out on a whole new level.

Pretty sure that’s from Afterlife With Archie, which is set in a different continuity (notice Sabrina looks more like a modern teen in that one). The art is clearly by that series’ regular artist, Francesco Francavilla. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (which is set in the 1960s) is illustrated by Robert Hack, and looks…

Batman is Marvel.

He’s my favorite DC superhero after Hellboy.

Too far-fetched. Fantasy doesn’t have to be realistic, but that one’s really, really pushing it.

Very true! For instance, Japan got into the Abe Sapien game a long time ago! Behold the Kappa (which is Japanese for “Abe Sapien”):

Big poofy lips? Neck gills? Webbed fingers and toes? Gee, I guess you’re right. Oh wait, fuck, I’ve seen that somewhere else before...