I’m considering changing my handle to ‘kicker of elves’... dunno why, but I thought I’d share that with you.

Damn youuuuu!

Or in my case, having to choose between staring at a wall, or The View while using the rowing machine at my local Y is bad enough. At least I don't have to hear it.

I’ve just decided to start my own religion that serves pancakes and port. My collection plate is on paypal.

Ya, I remember cubed white bread and grape juice at my suburban Presbyterian church in the ‘80s. I also remember the entire vacation bible school group (40 or 50 kids) changing the lyrics of Children of the Lord to Children of the Corn. Loudly and prouldly. ..And the wife of the pastor who was leading our massive…

Thanks, jerk. I tried it with Raspberry-honey balsamic vinaigrette and now my house is crawling with ants.

“If you’re keen on losing weight and want to...”
You lost me in the first sentence. It’s 2015 already. We say ‘loosing’ now.

I read that as Busta Rhymes vs. Protein Shake. My first thought was “Who won?”

Voice activated keyless entry: “Speak Friend and Enter”.

Read that as immoral for a sec..

I had lost the ability to star comments too. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I noticed that anytime I tried to star something the page auto-scrolled to the top. Everything’s back to normal now.. maybe Kinja had a bad cold for awhile?

Isn’t Reunion Island one of the many mystery-pirate treasure islands? I’m calling it now... If these guys go scanning the entirety of the beach area with metal detectors in an organized, government-funded kinda way they’re gonna come up with some pirate’s booty.

*star*
(because I’ve mysteriously lost the ability to click on the star icon somehow..)

Today Wisconsin.. Tomorrow the world.

Skeptical.. I could see the boundaries of the chisel cut without stain.. Imagine with..

Love the punnage!

Shuddup, numb nuts!

In Florida they do it with alligators.. Also, is there such a thing as a ‘peenicure’? (Asking for a friend).