What about kerosene? I know a guy who once filled a 20’ box truck with kerosene just before returning it to the rental place. (He was tired! He’d just moved 3 families!)

If I get another chance, I’ll try it backhand sauce.

Now I realize I was thinking of Tony Gwynn. Oh well

Wanna hear my Brent Sutter story? I once heard that he only got his skates sharpened 3 or 4 times per season. Also, he once scored 2 goals in a game in which I was selected to shoot the puck at the targets between periods, and I won! Because it’s not that hard to shoot a puck in a straight line. (March somethingth…

I heard he once called for a suicide squeeze with no one on base!

Wait! Why was Kirby a bad human? This shatters everything

Every time I tuned in to a Cubs game back in the day, this guy hit a home run, but mostly I loved the way his name was semi-butchered by A slurring Harry Caray. (2nd placd goes to carrer pinch-runner Ced Landrum)

Honda has a vehicle named ‘city’? ..Does the Ford/anal rule apply to Honda as well?

I’d date Zoidberg without hesitation.

At my local YMCA, I’ve gotten myself to a point where, on the stairmaster machine, I’ll go 60 seconds at high speed (16 or 17), followed by 120 seconds of recovery at speed setting 6 or 7. I’ve never done more than 5 cycles of this. It’s very sweaty business. I have strong legs, but the beer belly remains.

Sure, I’ll get in line. I’d like my house back, please. (2009 bubble victim)

“I can pee for miles, and miles, and miles...”

John 3:16, eh?

Damn. Amazing!

Salt & pepper Kettle cereal... hmmm.. Yes!

Is one of these guys you?

Self-pollenating strain, I guess? Or, what if the wheat’s intelligent & sentient? Like mini-Ents? They could have wheat-moots every day!

I had trouble sleeping in college... my roommates nicknamed me ‘ejecta blanket’ .. the dry cleaner was never happy to see me.

If you’re 60 years old, then the moon is only 100 times older than you! Mind blowing, no? Can I be friends with you?

I am stupid: