ähm...

As a Philadelphian who has had to satisfy the cheesesteak craving at different locations around the world, I will offer some advice on securing the thinly sliced steak. Most of your small "mom and pop" butchers have a deli slicer and will gladly toss some rib-eye on there if you ask. Most will do it if you ask in…

Dear Dealership,

Who watches the watchmen? #obligatory.

Hey! Turn a negative into a positive! My intake is restricted by much beer goes into my belly. Which, is to say, how much beer I want to drink without fear of a hangover the following day!

When are we going to get an Xander Crews cameo?

even Michael Bolton disapproves

I had some free Coors light recently. I took a drink and was sure I was being fucked with. I thought my buddy had drank it then filled the can with water for giving it to me.

I don't know the other two, but Wyshynski's a god damn clown and so are his minions.

Maybe she's Dutch?

Owning a new car. Bourgeoisie pig!

Does the wife have to pass the 'Moose Test?'

"I want to buy your women!"