Yeah! He should just take norcos or percocets like someone who isn’t a deviant.

I think the “we “ he was referring to was racist assholes that wish they could still own black people, but I could be wrong.

I lived in LA for 8 years, ate lots of burgers, and will say unequivocally that Fatburger (specifically the one on La Cienega) is vastly superior. I also think those little chili cheese burgers at Pink's are delicious and that the Apple Pan's patty melt is great. You have several superior options that don't come with…

The best real-life strip club name I’ve ever seen is the Navel Base, but this would be a close second if it does exist.

There are four lights!

He’s got summer teeth: some are here, some ain’t.

You can just tell that he could fuck a Cheerio without breaking it.

Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!

Ohio and Indiana are the South of the North.

If possible, get a CPAP. It probably saved my marriage. Be prepared to try several different masks until you find "the one" but it's worth it.

Whew, glad that's settled and we can all just move on!

Trey Gowdy looks like Draco Malfoy’s hillbilly cousin.

He looks like he could be Kid Rock’s slightly less gross son.

This litmus test also applies to aircraft mechanics who work with hydraulic fluid.

If a fellow diner wants to yell at them regarding their abject shittiness, that’s 100% OK. If a restaurant owner wants to refuse them service, then I think we’re in “I’m not baking your gay wedding cake” territory. 

You know, morons.

Nope, it’s Guitar...

The best account of those events I’ve seen is this.