Fake urine. My preferred brand is Magnum. $25 at the local headshop. For the record, I only partake of the hippie lettuce when I’m on my time and not before or during work.

No adjustment for inflation? I mean, the bible was written a long time ago. Just sayin’.

To be fair, he does own the Browns.

Look, if you’re not going to take this seriously, I’m outta here.

The Snoopy Snowcone Maker! It was so awesome and it nobody thought it could burn the house down like that easy bake oven my sister was denied!

That's about as Lions as it gets.

I’d be willing bet he drives a foreign car because he’d rather gargle broken glass than buy something built with union labor.

Your all-time football party guys list doesn’t have Bobby Layne on it? I declare shenanigans.

OK, I’m asking.

(Please read in Comic Book Guy’s voice) Excuse me, but this symbol is meant to depict a bantha skull, thank you.

That doesn’t look like a person who frequently has to worry about their after sex funk.

Assy McGee!

I read years ago that Tampa Bay Bucs FB Mike Alstott had a FieldTurf (fake grass from sports stadiums) lawn installed at his estate. Is there some reason Richie Rich here couldn’t just do that?

Yes and it always makes me wonder what I might have said or done to make them think “oh yeah, Capt.Jerk will be cool this”. What exactly made them think they had the racism green light?

Spoon!

It’s their knockoff of the F-111. They even chose to copy some of the more questionable design elements like the side by side seating arrangement.

“Jon, when a hot homicidal redhead offers you sex, you say “yes”!!!!!”

He looks like Jim Tressel's douchier brother.

Sonny Bono was a scientologist and a congressman.