Dammit! Beat me to it!

That was a rum-fueled gangbang in a thunderstorm. The convicts had undoubtedly heard of the Plymouth Rock experience and decided they wanted no part of it.

Yves Robert's My Father's Glory, the 1990 film based on Marcel Pagnol's autobiographical novel.

No, really, it'll work. Just make the lead a hockey coach.

Yiannopoulos probably isn't implicated in this hack. All the same, I bet he's delighted at the unfolding catastrophe.

The ancient Greek punishment for adulterers was to have a peeled radish shoved into the arse. #justsaying

Passata. And quickly.

For some ungodly reason.

He claims to be a lot of things, like Greek and Catholic, which is rarer than you might think.

It's a helluva read, isn't it?

Here's the good part; we tell the assholes that a new white libertarian colony is being established on Proxima B's planet. "You must be at least this white (or orange, can't have Donald missing out) to emigrate!"

Again, that's just Milo the provocateur.

Papa Kurt said it best when he wrote, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

John Grisham's The Hyborian Brief notwithstanding?

My mum had a Gestetner mimeograph machine back in the sixties. Gummy black ink all over the kitchen.

Yiannopoulos is like the four-year-old who hasn't managed to distinguish between good and bad attention. He just loves it all.

Dana Carvey has never done anything wrong.

For more on Australia's border protection policies, we're talking to Vice-Rear-Cabin Boy Bobo Gargle.

Anyone who's worked in a large government bureaucracy knows what Utopia is all about. It's uncanny.

Says the Newtown boy.