Samer certainly captured the thrust of the story...

Tell your family that I want the millions in earnings they promised me years ago, dammit...

“I’ll have the strawberry margarita/Twizzler thingy, and a side of insulin, please.”

It’s pretty hard to turn your hands over with nails stuck in them.

Every Duke player has to spell Coach Krzwensky’s name correctly before getting off the bus - that’ll slow ‘em down.

I live in San Diego, a big “good” car city, (nice weather, etc.), and I’ve seen two Stelvios, maybe 5 or 6 Giulia’s in the wild...

Ionosphere Torres has his head in the clouds - no chance against Pimple.

Oh.My.God. Please take all the stars

Question: when referring to anteaters, are they “pesky” or “gritty?”

I’m out of time

Lonzo’s ability to choose a business manager/partner is oddly akin to his free throw shooting ability. 

+1 Concussion

He just wanted those kids to stop their Evil Ways...

Agreed - I ask my friends in Texas to tell me what he accomplished in Congress...from what I understand, “not much.”

That tickled my funny bone +1

#AllPunctuationMatters

Aaaah...at least a portion of our sad, miserable lives are better now - Merry Drewmas, everyone!

“Labeled a cheat”? Uh...he did cheat and got caught, twice. Moron.

Hey-yo! +1

Heehee!