“Judge Wants At Least 37 Non-Political Pieces of Flair Per Attorney, 11 of Which Must Support the Iggles”

I love it when NYC transplants say that they love it when other transplants leave “their city”

ALREADY MAD AT MY BF CUZ HE WON’T LET ME ADOPT ANOTHER KITTY.

This thoughtful exchange in a comments section actually touched me deeply tonight. I’m a little emotional, I think, but thank you both.

Heart of Darkness: needs more white ladies 2/10 would not read again

I do! And it worked!

I’m writing you in for president. Rom Romberts/Cthulu 2016.

The lady version of this essay has cream cheese and genitals, too, but adds a lot more body shame.

I feel like this whole article was merely posted to bait Rom Romberts into posting something.

No. It’s a shitty thing to say. Some people can’t even help it, sometimes it’s just genetics.

Am I deluding myself into thinking 30 is NBD? Everyone makes a big deal of it but I don’t see it. I’ve got 6 months to go. I like almost 30 me. I’m happier, healthier, and more at peace with my life than I have ever been before. Also I’m excited for my uterus to be so dusty and full of cobwebs that people stop asking…

Rosenberg’s excuse for the lapse:

Oh, I'm with you. I Google/ PubMed EVERYTHING and if I'm ever suspected of a crime I can only hope it's not one I've idly researched in the preceding few months.

Not something I’m putting into my google search history.

Just popped in to give a general plug to her charity, Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. It’s a fabulous organization, dedicated to giving books to any child that wants them.

That’s why I pack all kinds of random shit under there, I tell everyone that it’s because I’m a slob, but really it’s so nobody can fit in there.

As a child, I never dared to look under my bed because I was afraid I would see someone stare back into my eyes. As an adult, I still don’t dare.

The guy on the left is Calvin Harris, erstwhile DJ best known for dating Taylor Swift and, sometimes, for making music.

Every time I see the name YouTube Red, I think it is a porn website, so when I first read this, I was like, what??? Now that I’ve regained sense, I will totally watch this.

I have every sympathy for these teachers. Little Hudson is a fucking idiot.