Could we just skip ahead to that part? That’s what I’ll need come April.

Like the people complaining about the media (and Durbin) reporting on Trump’s bullshit, you are attacking the messenger, not the sender. Get your priorities in line. Texting is in no way implied or required to be private, the moment you hit send it may as well be public domain. The recipient is under no obligation to…

You know what would be super fun in anticipation of Roiphe’s riveting take on Shitty Media Men? “I’m a feminist, but...” bingo! Let’s play through all the stock phrases and ignorance we’ve heard before, hurray!

She’s so giraffe-like I’m surprised one of her brothers hasn’t tried to hunt her.

Raw corpse water sounds like something Goop would sell at $110 a pop.

I don’t speak Italian beyond the three pages of common phrases in the back of Rick Steves’s Italy

that their neighbors kind of hate them, including one legendary rich lady who stood in her front yard in a fur coat, drinking wine and watching protesters dancing and “twerking on top of an SUV”

If only there was some way those employees could search and find the exact figures.

And don’t forget, I’m just a commenter, reading your comment, replying and giving you a star.

Maya Angelou is ever relevant: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

put an afghan between the sheets for extra warmth

I’d second Patrick’s advice, and also recommend reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker. Not all of the stories in the book will be as “vanilla” Hurt Again’s story, but it’s on the same spectrum. Break contact with that person and don’t relent - don’t talk to him or give him any in to get back in contact with you.…

Invest in a chihuahua and install under the blankets. Holy crap, does mine keep the bed warm. Must be all that small dog anger.

It’s a really awkward, unfortunate length. Kind of like her marriage.

Which asshole is cutting onions in this thread?

Meanwhile the White House spin on Melania Trump’s perma-misery face is “Nothing to see here folks, she is just invisibly happy”

Hamilton songs that don’t need to be retitled for porn:

Ah yes, the party of morals and personal responsibility on display again.