I have like three racist bones in my body. I’m always complaining about them, but the rest of the bones won’t do anything about it. Two of them are real assholes and one of them is passive aggressive as shit. I don’t know, every time I think about yanking them out the other bones get all protective. Deep down, I…

20. “Oh, you’re married?”

*LOLOLOL*

Listen y’all, the most important advice on here is that if you craft you need that JoAnn’s app. The coupons are off the chain and I don’t buy anything full price at that bitch no mo’!

Sounds like a typical scientist/engineer. They look at the data (can he function without her) and make a decision based on the data (yes, he can) and people’s feelings don’t matter.

it is a truth universally acknowledged that I WILL NEVER BE SICK OF PRIDE & PREJUDICE ADAPTATIONS GIVE IT TO ME PLZ

He’s 5% as attractive as he thinks he is.

A male feminist walks into a bar

You may have missed the best response—read the thread (hint: it’s not 62 tweets).

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

Wattpad with Hulu had a contest to write a short story for The Handmaids Tale to coincide with the season finale. On Friday I learned that I and another 9 writers were hand picked by Margret Atwood as the winners!

I don’t think he understands what a sugar daddy does...

“What you’re too good for the 4pm early bird senior discount at Denny’s?! Damn gold digger!”

Wait, wait... back up the truck. EB White was the White of Strunk & White? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?

It also depends on WHO is telling it. Izzard is a world-famous comedian, genius, and re-invention artist who happens to be a cross-dresser. When you are a Renaissance man who happens to look marvelous in lipstick and blue eye shadow, then those jokes are funny.

‘Sounds like a secret weapon to me,’ he continued. ‘If I was in ISIS in the trenches fighting against the United States and all of the sudden I see a man with a beard and big D-cups titties just rushing my foxhole and shit, I’d be horrified.’

I mean, I think it’d it’s going to be an offensive joke that gets a pass it has to be in some way smarter than “ew trans people are icky”.

I have no problem with Leah Remini, but if it means I have to watch Kevin James, I’m out.

Oh, so I post something about how I’m so racist I’d be willing to kill a baby and suddenly I’m the bad guy? Damn libruls ruining the country.