Sadly, those only work with British electricity. 

The real crime the court should examine is letting this punk ass, self involved, dollar tree suit wearing, talentless, narcissist dickweed host anything, ever.

Exactly, thank you.

Wait, I thought he hailed from the Connecticut Rhymes, who made their fortune in pork bellies. 

I’m surprised that the Poppa John’s “What’s The Point Anymore?” pizza with sardines, deviled ham, maraschino cherries, kimchee, mini donuts, and whip cream was left off the list.

I’ve already heard enough about Stewart and head. 

“Worst-case scenario, the sinkhole crumbles beneath your P.T. Cruiser, sending you into a dank cavern full of all manner of slimy, sightless creatures.”

That explains why I can’t find it using the search feature on my streaming services.

Team Nikki Lane

Stop calling that your “heterosexuality”, and put it back in your trousers, please.

Lindsey Graham is Trump’s favorite daughter, so plenty of room for Matty. 

When are these two just going to fuck already? 

Sorry about your cat. 

It worked for Nckleback. 

Just avoid the GG Allen cereal. I’m not getting into the details, but just...don’t. 

This...

Waiting for the inevitable “I used to drive one of these, and let me tell you why they are shit...” 

Uh, she’s from the CONNECTICUT Snuffins, so, yeah, I think she’s just fine with it. 

But what if those same pre-diabetic Texas football fans brought over a 12 pack of this...stufff..., and y’all hung out and watched the football? NOW will you sign up?

Look, my Mom sets the prices, not me.