Well, this was obvious. As the great American poet Jax Taylor once said “I have milk with a longer shelf life than that marriage.”

Totally. I had more dudes hitting on me in the last 4 days when I was home than the last 4 years in LA combined. I was scouting moving locations, I can’t wait to live like a normie again or as any schumer says be “able to catch a D”

Hey do you know where I can get a good deal on anything? Do you have any deals I need to know about? I said deals! Deals! Deals! I got it.

Perhaps my tone was not clear. I think the comments on this article were shitty and judgey. This is one of those areas where people rise up high on their horse and tell others what to do and feel. AS IF this was a black and white issue and that the problem might be that we need to “grow up.” Not that maybe I have had…

Yeah, I guess that’s what I mean. The shit after a night of heavy drinking is uh, hard to keep quiet. I was staying with my boyfriend on the floor of his friend and friends girlfriends 1 bedroom apartment once and we all got hammered the night before. Around 6am dude goes into the bathroom and just explodes. I could…

This can all be broken down to one bullet point about half way down your list:

YES! I have never been pregnant, but I gave one of these to my sister in law a few years ago when she was pregnant. After I slept over at her house, I got one for myself. I have never looked back! It is heaven. I can’t sleep without it. I am on like my 4th one. I have zero shame about my maternity pillow, I carry it…

counterpoint:

Ew long hair on a man, GTFO.

I read it to mean the opposite of a salt of the earth, trustworthy, good friend.

Fucking verizon. I had been troubleshooting a Wifi issue at work all day. Hours and hours on the phone, holding, transfers, 30 seconds of music on loop, finally get to the person you need and the line goes dead. NOOOOO! My boss walks in right then. Are you...are you crying?? I just need 5 minutes! I blurted out of my…

I know, where is Stassi to cut people out of our lives when you need her.

Maybe you didn’t see him in his Halloween costume. THAT was the worst hair I have ever seen. Who was he supposed to be? Phil Spector?

Just to sum up the comments the answer is to trust your partner implicitly. Anything else is wrong, heteronormative, game-playing, weird bullshit. This is a black and white issue. Grow up.

I spent New Years eve alone a few years ago right after a bad break up. I wasn’t adjusted to how terrible it was going to be yet, so I decided to just keep myself busy. I made an ice cream wedding cake. I made the ice cream from scratch, and then I froze it into 3 different size cake pans. Then I used the same size…

Jealous. My family has never uttered the words what do you want for Christmas? I normally get pitched a little bag of weed into my face from my brother and my mom gives me some cash. Aw, Christmas.

Jealous. My family has never uttered the words what do you want for Christmas? I normally get pitched a little bag…

This is straight out of a Seinfeld episode.

As she walks away...

Her response, in my dreams: “Not to your Aerosmith tribute band gig at the canyon club, that’s for sure! Do you know what sure means? It means get the fuck out of here nerd.”

Yeah. This was one conversation overheard at Starbucks. She didn’t say much, this was all him.