I was in the middle of telling my friends how I was sure based on appearances that bethe was going to win when she fell down into a pile of tears. Or not!

I saw garner in a William Sonoma a few years back. She was buying a shit ton of stuff and chatting with the counter girl. I was at the next counter making a purchase. She was talking so loud and so over the top, it seemed like she wanted people to notice her. She was talking to the girl about a water commercial and…

That’s true. I was actually going to be Sharona Jessie’s girl Newton-John, but they thought that might date me too much.

This is Adam Levines fault for that stupid moves like jagger song. There’s no way she would have come up with Jagger with out that. My parents were thiiiis close to naming me Sharona. Idiots.

Aahhh that’s terrible.

My ex fell asleep on the toilet doing this once. Gotta be careful.

Doors all the way to the floor are nice. Or at least a door without an inch wide gap on either side allowing everyone to see you sitting on the toilet. And the one on the end with the additional 3 inch gap from the wall? Cmon.

I like it. I’ll go sit in the corner and think about this cause I know it’s bad :(

Kate McKinnon addressed this issue beautifully on SNL.

If I need to shit, I’m heading home, unless something horrible has gone wrong. I am shit break.

It’s more about me being controlling and liking to pick out my own products. I’m also apparently a heteronormative, mysogynist, asshole so that may factor in here.

Yeah, I know, thanks for piling on. It was poorly worded and there is nothing I can do about it now.

How about the person you share a bathroom with hates all your tiny bottles and you calm the fuck down.

i have no drawers in my bathroom. This could be the problem. But I'm telling you ladies one day you're gonna look at all those tiny barely used bottles and be like, why didn't I just buy one nice thing that I know I will use?

But how big is that organizer and how organized can it be? Its looking like you guys are getting upwards of 12 mini products a month. I can’t. Believe me I want to, but I can’t. I am currently battling an elderly hoarder neighbor and my own inner desire to become one. Full size products or GTFO.

My mom was like that too, but I was like this trains moving mom get on board. One year I convinced her to buy me all my Christmas gifts from Delias. I was sure everything was going to look just as cute on me as in the pictures. That was the year I realized, Nope!

oh shit. Glad I turned down that job working on the K Michelle, Azealia Banks tour.

Where do you put all this stuff every month?! How big are your bathrooms? I will tell you without a doubt, your boyfriends and husbands hate your monthly boxes of tiny bottles of shit in the bathroom.

you had to be there.

I am conflicted about this. I am by all accounts, depressed, but I don’t feel like I have a mental disorder. But I guess that’s the kind of thing people with mental disorders say :/