Can’t you.. and forgive my ignorance, because as a woman I’ve never pulled my dick out to pee...but can’t you just cut the button off? Or just not button them??

8=====>~~~~

Gronk & Luck sounds like a bad buddy cop comedy.

If I have to pick a favorite, it is absolutely the emdash. I think it wakes up the reader and is stronger than a parenthetical—particularly when used to set off a snarky point.

Shift+Insert is paste in most unix terminals. I can’t live with it so please don’t fuck that guy. My vote would be for Scroll Lock, I have no idea what that does.

Don’t ask for information you can’t handle hearing. That’s how we found out what proportion of Deadspin readers stand up to wipe their asses. 

One of those kids is probably his.

For food we had: Steak. Burgers. Bar-b-que. Pizza. Beer. Soda. Milkshakes. Mari-fucking-juana. A DJ. Ice cream cake.

They use brakets [sic] in journalism all the time too [1][citation needed]

Define a lot.

Every damn key you suggested I used within the last hour. Guarantee you that the code running this website has plenty of brackets ‘[’, braces ‘{’, pipes ‘|’ and tildes ‘~’.

Brackets [] are used in legal writing when you change or shorten a phrase within a quote from a case in order to make it generic to your argument or to fitgrammatically into your text.

watch a lot of kids pee, do ya?

I expect that 14 people are posting this at the same time, but you reversed forward slash (/) and back slash (\). Forward slashes are the things used in URLs and generally when you want to separate/things. Back slash is seldom if ever used in a non programming context. The thing above it, since I’m sure you’re…

You okay, man? Need a glass of water or something?

The forward slash! Who the fuck uses a forward slash for anything?... Ah. Right. Well, what about the thingie above the forward slash? The |?

I use the little squiggly line (~) to mean ‘approximately.’ For example: “Since he’s been in office, Trump as lied ~37,129 times.”

Rob Gronkowski says he couldn’t sleep for weeks after a fairly routine hit in the Super Bowl

I know where he is coming from, I got a charlie horse the other day, and despite the pain and my body screaming at me to stop, I kept at it and finished that bucket of chicken.

When even Gronk is smart enough to retire, it’s hard to hold a grudge against Andrew Luck