I’ve never been on MadTV either

I was expecting this to be a gif of Gruden's face being turned more and more red with every article and I was immensely disappointed.

Few things I dread more during the NFL season is finding out the Titans are on the prime time game that night. They are just soooooo boring to watch.

The most damning thing I can think of about the Titans is that, on any Sporcle quiz in which you need to identify NFL teams, the Titans are always the least-guessed.

*nods along*

I broke my tibia a little over two years ago today and I’m still dunking on kids on the six foot basket at my local Y. This is inexcusable.

Just another example that we need to keep Washington out of the business of health care!

I did like Gillibrand’s answer in the last debate that the first act she would do as president is to “Clorox” the oval office.  Because, eww!

I always figured jacking off into a sock was just a trope used for comedic affect in shitty teen movies, I didn’t think people actually did that--especially grown-ass adults. My mind is blown.

From now on, I am announcing that I am going to go ‘glaze the tank’ when excusing myself to go use the bathroom.

Yeah, the reason why I keep mentioning a Ta-Nehisi Coates quotation about racism is precisely because it is, bar none, the best operational test for whether or not a person is being a bigot.

“Stupidity is a trait in Donald Trump. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything he can control.” - Ag Obair

“Laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.”—Donald Trump

They do know that;

I just take the TP with me, cuz I like to sit and be comfy. Then flush the shame away. Same basic technique,

Found him.

There is nothing clean about keeping cummy socks lying around. I ejaculate in to the toilet (usually standing) and then it’s one or two sheets of toilet paper to wipe the residual mess. Wash hands, piss, and go about my day/evening. Only thing cleaner would be to clog the shower drain.

Who the fuck lives alone and is actually cranking it in a sock? 

There’s no way Michael Jackson is even the most famous musician, is there? The Beatles and Elvis both sold roughly twice as many albums as he did. The Beatles were, like, 90% of the London Olympics closing ceremony. John Lennon has a fucking airport named after him.