I laughed way too hard at that.

I specifically come here for jokes that are in bad taste.

Yep. I read the news and have the view on in the background just waiting for the fight. Then I laugh and change the channel to Futurama.

Daily mail (I know they suck but they cover more world news, I go elsewhere for facts) had the gif large and looped on the front page and I had no time to prepare.  My bad knee hurts and I don’t know if it’s the weather or sympathy pains.  I can’t watch again....until I make my husband watch it later!

Thank you for this!  I needed that today.

Yes! Last year I got a white sundress with giant sunflowers on it. Sorry, I’m not walking around in a black dress in the sun so stupid people can’t see as much fat.

I’m surprised to see so many people hate onions. I’ve never met an onion I didn’t like! I’m also lucky because I could chop onions for hours and not shed a tear. I didn’t know that was a thing for many years.  We grew up eating onions straight out of the garden though. Scallions are snack that go on a relish or…

That’s not even what he said. Trust me, it’s easy to find a deal to get 18 and a cart for $20 per person. We are not rich but we can still manage a few rounds or scrambles here and there.

This is so depressing for me. I broke my foot and refractured my ankle last May and I’m still in a surgical boot. I love my open toe shoes and sandles and heals and clogs that I’ll probably never be able to wear again. But at this point I’ll just be happy if I don’t have to have another surgery.

You obviously have never been married to someone who works in a service department.  I only use plastic hangers.  I had to beat my husband with one of the wire hangers his uniforms came on because he wasn’t turning them back in.

DDocumentary double D!

This is the stuff I love to send to my husband to send to his trump humping racist cousin.

I walked down the aisle to Leather and Lace.  I don’t like you.

...Neanderthals interacting solely on the level of muscle mass...

I don’t remember, I think I was more startled than anything. I had been bit by two dogs before that, but you don’t expect to see a frog latched on to your finger!

I got bit by a South American horned frog.

There’s no way they would not be able to raise the funds to cover it.  I’m sure there are plenty of alumni and parents that would chip in among others.

that made me draw in a deep breath and purse my lips.

I ran into an Asian friend of my husbands the other day and when I asked how he was he said he was sore from trying to dig a grave for his mom’s dog. When my husband got home I told him about it and added “Now we know it’s safe to eat at her restaurant!” I know, I’m an asshole.

Wrap presents.