“We left a little too much on the table.”
- Terry Collins on Bartolo Colon’s off-season diet

Am I an elite commenter?

Niiiice

I tried this once with my girlfriend, did NOT end well.

Agreed. We’ve all been had. I vote we rename the website Deadpan in honor of his uncanny ability to hold fast to his persona.

NAILED it. +1

Outstanding. +1

Keep an eye out for the joke.

It’s nice to see someone who shares my affinity for Muppet culture. +pleaseloadweapon

Having never read any of these, I am eternally grateful to you for posting this. Sampler Fi, indeed.

This is a good but sad joke.

Et tu, LeBron?

This is a good joke and you should feel good.

None of us do.

-1,000

“You want a pizza me? I artichoke you for what you just said.”