I’m pretty sure by pumping and driving she actually means while sitting in the back seat of an SUV as she gets chauffeured around. She lives in NYC, doesn’t she?

Yes, like the popular 1980’s television program about cannibal lizard people secretly invading earth.

Adidas should also sue Isabel Marant for EXACTLY copying their Stan Smiths and asking 3 times as much for it.

I realize that many folks think “McMansion” means “big house that I think is ugly,” but the term more correctly refers to being mass-produced using techniques designed to imitate fine craftsmanship. While the Giudice mansion may be crass and probably is shoddily built, nothing that big is a standardized product, not…

I confess, I’ve never watched an episode of the Real Housewives of anywhere. I hope I can make that same statement on my dying day.

that asian product box tho!

Your friend was blowing a goddamned Hall of Famer.

I love this because

Did Simon do most of the work in the orgy, too?

This post needs to be farther up because WHAT?

Wait I keep re-reading this and I still can’t figure out how the bottle of conditioner came into play.

WAIT WHAT

A good friend from ages ago told me she dated Flea for a time. Said he was very bright, and quite the gentleman. She thought the world of him. Pleasant surprise for a guy who wears stuffed-animal pants!

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

A friend of a close friend (does that make it more credible? Eh?) used to bone Anthony Kiedis when he was in town. The last she heard of him was when he stopped by and she wasn’t home- he left a note with her roommate that said, “Keep that p***y tight while I'm gone.” (Not a prude but I hate that word!) He was sort of…

Not a sex story but my sister used to live in LA and one of her friends sang and played various instruments sometimes in Ryan Gosling’s band “Dead Man’s Bones” when they played live. They were friends and would hang out sometimes. He tried to kiss her one time and she refused because she had a boyfriend. Her and that…

Oh! This gif is everything.

I don’t see enough Jerry Orbach gifs...

Thank you for sharing how you’re too good for casual sex.