Bill, we already asked you to come work for us, you don't need to try and impress us in the comments.

*...do not resuscitate, please.

You know, as a long-suffering Padres fan, I see something like this and it really tugs at the heartstrings. I see a team that's struggled year in and year out for so long. A team that has been a bottom feeder; a small payroll team that has to fight an uphill battle every season, and it finally pays off. It makes me…

I really hope its the Cardinals. Nothing would make me happier than to watch the Royals sweep the Cardinals and their "right way" of playing the game.

Okay, seriously. What in the actual fuck, folks?

I teach English at the college level; last year, I was privileged to teach ENG 230, which at my institution is a rotating (through the faculty) course that is generously labeled "Special Topics in Literature."

I taught my course, for two semesters, as "Gaming: Literary…

Cole: My tooth fell out, doc. Ya gotta help!

Living in St. Louis but being a bit of a Cards hater, I'd like to see a STL v. KC World Series. But an all Missouri World Series? I imagine that would set an all time record low for World Series television ratings.

Wait a second...I thought this was going to be a great post from a long-suffering fan until I got to the "lived in Baltimore, loved the O's, lived in NYC, loved the Yanks," part. If you did that, then I am not happy for you at all. You have not suffered, you've just rooted for other teams during the period where…

7 years here. Part of what I miss is all the games. Hidden bottles, trips to the basement to "check on the furnace" I was also great at doing laundry. I did laundry in the basement more than any man. Folded it down there too. I was a rotten SOB. At least once I am sure my wife smelled it in me but I always countered…

Alcoholics, especially functional alcoholics (and basically addicts of any substance) are good at hiding their use from loved ones.

Through work, I've seen plenty of people who were fall down drunk and only in the .14 range. Conversely, I've seen people blow a god damn .35 and able to do Olympic quality cartwheels. If dude had an alcohol problem, maybe the storyline with the wife isn't so far fetched.

The toxicology report also noted his 0.218 put him single-handedly ahead of the Jaguars in the race for the AFC South crown.

I will miss Rob Beeronas. This is a good response.

1) Being from the Midwest is not a race. 2) Drew is from the Midwest. 3) How insecure of your beliefs and likes do you have to be to go to bat for an entire region of the country?

Hey jerk face, don't you DARE criticize Red Penis. He's a Hall of Famer and has spent more than 50 years in the Cardinals organization.

As someone who spent their first 26 years of like in Missouri and is a lifelong Cardinals fan, I highly support this message. Francis Slay is an embarrassment, and I have no idea on God's green earth why he keeps putting out these dumb press releases whenever someone as much as steps on the heel of the Cardinals…

See, what we're really missing here is the vaccine truther (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, GIVE ME A SECOND!).

Inexplicable road rage? Burning engine oil? I'm definitely going with doppelganger from the Black Lodge.

I can understand why he was so angry. That burning smell? Some kids shoved tennis shoes in his exhaust pipe and he was able to remove the shoes, but he couldn't get the laces out.