The thought that medical marijuana will likely be national by the time I retire really cheers me up when I think about my dotage.

I used to be your husband. Then last year I had a one time supercomplicated situation that required an accountant. After that, using my bank’s free Taxcut (or whatever it was) was a total snap.

New York once sent me my return, cut in half, then stapled back together, (wrong), with the note that I’d printed it on the wrong size paper and they wouldn’t process it until I redid it on the right size. I’d love to see what would happen if I did that with my student loan bill. “I’ll pay this when you resubmit on…

I did mine in February and it’s super hard to not gloat.

Why are they dressed like Diana Ross and the Supremes?

I fucking love that pasta filled bread bowl. I’m not even ashamed.

If being indifferent and okay with being me has taught me anything, it’s that yes, you’re really expected to love yourself. The cult of “self esteem” is really insidious.

And god forbid anybody wait for it to come out before judging whether it’s any good.

This is why you’re supposed to stay put when you realize you’re lost.

Kill all the kids, just don’t kill the dog!

I got about halfway through that before giving up. The only conclusion I can make is that Twitter is a shitty medium for this kind of discussion.

William Petersen is hot AF.

I read headlines before I look at pictures and since I know fuck all about reality TV, when I read “Tiffany Pollard” I always think of Vicky Pollard from Little Britain.

I wouldn’t turn down a celebrity paycheck, but I’m often grateful to not be a celebrity with everyone always up in my grill about who I do/don’t work with, what I think of my colleagues, what I eat/don’t eat, etc.

Using the media to get people to take sides in your domestic squabbles. OK.

A counselor told me once that when you’ve had family member or other close person commit suicide, you’re more likely to do so because you’ve seen it’s a legitimate option.

I’m in agreement with this comment. However, your every subsequent comment indicates you are full of shit.

“How I Met Your Mother was never about the mother and she was annoying anyway.” - C_Lamotte

I was hugely skeptical when it premiered and it’s now one of my favorite shows. It’s very enjoyable to watch.

Starred everything except for Raf #1. Michael is better AND hotter.