If I were inclined to have an obligate carnivore nearby while I was giving birth, I might be persuaded to have a home birth with my cats in the room. Granted, my cats are complete assholes, but at least they’re not 400 pounds and can be tossed out of the room if they act up.

It’s because they’re magical spirit-creatures, more in tune with the vibrational energy of the universe than us humans. Duh.

Umm I’ll have you know that I gave birth in the beautiful Hudson River and my baby was blessed with not two, but THREE perfectly healthy feet.

Everyone has their kinks

I feel so naive for being surprised by this.

ETA: The fuckin weird hippie/yuppie-driven culture that has developed around birth has achieved apotheosis. Now, people, please stop trying to out-weird all of the other crazy ladies and just have your baby in semi-normal circumstances with modern medical advances as at…

They also rip the heads off fish and use the carcass to masturbate.

I’m sure there is a Sad Creepy Weasel jpeg out there for you, but I can’t be arsed to find it.

well, in all fairness to the manager, in some cultures deep frying unusual items is a perfectly acceptable form of workplace instruction and discipline....

So Greg smirked at me like the little shit-weasel he was and said, “Honey, you’re too sad. I want this place to be like Disneyland, and there’s no sad people at Disneyland.”

It actually made the two months of weird inappropriate comments worth it to me, to watch his face as he realized that I had heard every single word he said. He awkwardly ended the conversation as fast as he could and disappeared for the rest of the night.

I had this pair of asshole brothers come in last night and they tipped me in coupons for free salsa because I had “such a sweet and spicy smile”. Their bill was over $100.

That was a great line. Also very nice was “So I very abruptly moved to New Zealand, because I’m a measured person who handles life’s slings and arrows with a cool head.”

Pinkham’s law, re: Bill Edgerton’s story:

We need a mandatory high school class in workers rights in this country. Like the year that you’re eligible to work you attend a class where they talk about minimum wage, hourly pay and wage theft, sexual harassment, workplace injuries and your rights in regards to them, and all the other crap that can happen on the…

“when the boss is drunk, don’t hold the cheese.”

Please don't continue using heroin, no matter what the lives of other users may look like. It will ruin you and destroy your family and everything you care about, if you survive at all. Good people don't encourage others to use heroin. Please stop using now, before it gets worse.

We constantly are brought back to the basic fact that adequate and functioning medical equipment in this country is a luxury good, when there is absolutely no justifiable reason for that to be the case. The idea that corporations must be profiting exorbitantly for science and technology to advance is so patently false…

You first, peaches.

Another proud graduate from Midvale School for the Gifted.