Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Somewhere Bill Belichick just became urgently aroused, and he doesn’t know why.

Nice to know Al Pacino is still able to find work.

Only in America... And various third world countries.

Everything will get better when Hillary Clinton picks people of color to sell weapons to the middle east and supervise the national growth of charter schools.

Particularly frustrating that so many well-meaning, progressive people seem to define racism purely in terms of attitudes and language rather than structural economic forces. You can’t solve this by yelling at people for using problematic language on Twitter. But that stuff sucks up such a huge portion of the…

It is Ayn Rand’s utopia. You will ride Dan Gilbert’s train to work for Dan Gilbert in a building owned by Dan Gilbert. You will then go for beers after work at Gilbert’s bar on the corner in Gilbertville which collects sales tax for Dan Gilbert instead of the government. Then you make sure to go to the local Quicken…

(Thankfully, the legislation is being temporarily blocked by a little-known provision of Michigan law stating that bills may not be considered by the Michigan Senate or House of Representatives if submitted in Comic Sans)

If only the Braves had discussed things with the taxpayers of Cobb County in a similar fashion.

Believe it or not, there was a fruitful discussion between the owners of both clubs. Both were seen discussing new and inventive ways of fleecing the public.

“Hey, Tony, what’s different about this prot- ah, okay, I see.”

Awesome, I had been looking for a kind of financial arrangement that would allow me to trade in one of the few remaining hopes your average person has of building any wealth over the course of their lives.

You shut your whore mouth!

Yeah they did. And the Mets took their place as the second Wild Card team.

I wish you guys had a tennis person. It’s literally a year-round sport and constantly has good stories. Also a numbers-nerd paradise if you know where to look.

Roger Goodell’s favorite player is Christian Pander.

Citi Field Fans doing the clapping part is the best part.

Any excuse to post this is a good thing.

I haven’t seen a range that impressive since I broke into Bobby Flay’s home and toured his kitchen in the nude. (He had an old Ozzie Smith highlight reel playing for some reason.)

very good SNL sketch about this phenomenon: