Kasino was mistaken. The house doesn’t always win.

Meanwhile...

While some current members generally seem okay with it, some holdouts are definitely deflated. Yeah. I said it.

I’m kind of hoping he excels at baseball so I can laugh at the fact he wasted most of his athletic prime trying to play professional football.

Big talk from a guy who’s entire race nearly got wiped out by a lack of fries.

The real news here is you have a Chrysler 200..........

This is the first time I wanted to start a gofundme for a millionaire.

The NBA is going to paint itself into a corner here. I’m positive Magic Johnson said the same thing watching last night’s game.

Thank you to everyone, including the haters,

Next stop: Sandy Hook Elementary

As someone whose mother barely escaped being placed in a concentration camp, I find this incredibly, unbelievably offensive.

If you think that’s bad, wait until Trump’s Tour de France.

I really thought this was an Onion quote when I first heard it. Then I realized it was real life and crawled back into bed.

When did Robert Forster and Alfred Molina have a baby?

This doesn’t even crack the top 100 this year for inappropriate things tweeted by a crazy rich guy in the middle of the night.

Okay Danny, time for a little story about the birds and the bees...

Except that he actually is good at playing Pac-Man.

I have a few years on him and am choosing to celebrate the fact that adult acne makes me look younger.

Biggest surprise of that story — Blake Shelton is only 41?????