Resign. Resign is the word you were looking for.

This is why there are no mirrors in my house.

promising to reach across the aisle “to invest in women’s health.”

MOTHER!

Well of course everyone would watch. We’d all want to know what he has cooking.

What percentage of the time would his shirt be off?

The Colts responded to the accusations by saying “we are investigating the situation, until then this is all just Irsay”

Well Golfcartgate seems like both a good name and just a summary of the narrative.

A lot of people don’t realize that the elevation of David Allen Smalley to DNC chair led directly to the War Between the States, and Clem Shaver’s election caused the Great Depression.

This is a daily reminder for Donald J. Trump to go fuck himself.

Over/under on number of comments in this thread being men humblebragging about how much they make their ladies orgasm and expressing disbelief that other men don’t?

I drove across the English Channel in my 2019 Ferrari The Ferrariana with only 3 miles on the clock. 2 decades later and it’s still purring like a shaved tiger.

Reading the Audi-bros argue with the BMW-bros about whose cars are more reliable is the best part of this article.

I’d rather have a lotus

Incorrect. Those are park-anywhere lights.

You mean crippling depreciation?

Huh, I guess BMW’s do have turn indicators.

My S.O. makes lunches for me (almost) every day. I forget them constantly, because my brain takes about 45 minutes to get fired up.

Don’t forget little “How old is that cutie, 15 now?”

Because it should have been a bow tie. Be classy, folks!