FUCK HER AND TREVOR NOAH FOR ALLOWING HER ON THE SHOW.

Dems had years to figure this out and didn’t. They lost dozens and dozens of house seats, the Senate, the Presidency and COMPLETELY SLEPT THROUGH GERRYMANDERING.

Fine. We’ll give you $140 million for every Browns win this season.

If Dan Gilbert keeps fucking the rust belt like this, he might just wind up president of the United States.

Powerful. Thanks for sharing!

How do they feel about Fucking Trump, though? This is a deal breaker.

At first I thought watching a game backward didn’t make a lot of sense. Then I realized it’s just another perspective. And from that perspective every game ends in a tie. And then I thought, why not draft another power forward?

Water.

First, I am a woman. Second,

Apparently of my mom’s (former?) friends was involved in a top-secret military operation back in the ‘80s, where his team assassinated the real Castro and replaced him with a CIA double. Or so he says.

My mom called me crying from a casino in Vegas. She was born in Havana a month after he took power and lived in that hell for twelve years. I’m so happy my Grandpa got to see this day. Fuck Castro.

Nobody will die as the result of this move, we’ll just be pining for the fjords.

You’re giving Trump too much credit. He’s considering a guy named Ford for the Secretary of Transportation and a guy named Forrest for Secretary of the Interior (which manages the National Park Service).

Mike Pence is a piece of shit. One of the worst politicians I’ve seen in my time in Indiana and that, quite frankly, is saying something.

Always a classic

“He was right all along. Did you see what I was wearing? I was totally asking for it”

He’s the captain of probably the best team in the MLS. Partners extraordinarily well with Giovinco.

I think there’s a huge issue with the USMNT and it isn’t Bradley.

“What’s for dinner?”

is “steroids” a new slang term for “all-you-can-eat ribs”?

That’s the most epic burn from an ex-Niners’ coach since Tomsula accidentally used the linen setting when ironing York’s silk shirts.