Quick, sell them a Kirby vacuum that has a fifty year warranty

Bill Maher: “listen, I want to stop calling them stupid....(pause)....but they are going to have to meet me halfway”

Dude went to military school. Think about that.......Billionaire father sends son to military school

It does take the eye of that turkey neck

Trump hasn’t had so many friction burns on his asshole since the last time he was in Moscow

Have you noticed who is out of the greys right now dribblelegs?

See those five stars?

One can only hope that the Republicans will not pause in their efforts to kill off Grandma younger due to this terrorist attack

I knew him before he was unknown.

It really angers me too. Why those poor libeled health care executives!

There’s that Nazi mentality

Then please explain to me how I can go to the store right now and buy any marijuana I wanted. I could buy marijuana candy. I could buy marijuana drops I can buy marijuana bud. I can buy marijuanOao cigarettes, fucking ice cream, bon bons, fudgesicles

That is some extreme bullshit right there

My health care costs haven’t gone up at all.

So fucking stupid. I fucking guarantee you the insurance you had before ACA was shitty as fuck compared to the insurance you had after ACA

When my son was 4, he used to call Tomb Raider “the lady who finds treasures”

I like how Fallon gasped when she announced her first vinyl.

Who’s the shutzstaffel einsatzgruppen in this scenario of Mr, Allens?

This needs more stars.