Your ancestors put on a uniform. Love that. So did mine. They were drafted.

It’s just a matter of degree to what people as a society agree with a certain level of violence. Ever heard of a tournament knight? Do you know that they were considered athletes who competed for mostly gambling purposes?

It’s a high price to pay, but remember: it’s only money.

Drew Magary is an expert on imponderability.

So it is OK for police to shoot minorities as long as minorities are shooting minorities more than the police are?

I thought “brevity” was the Patriots pass rush.

“He was protecting that 8-point lead with all the authority of a treehouse lookout.”

Ben Affleck is on the rummy train, and he is shoveling coal like there the Commanches are attacking from the rear and there’s a seven percent grade in front of the train.

Great. Now I have to boil a ham.

Every bad idea on earth

He sounds like I did the day after I took the Jose Cuervo tequila train to the Rolling Stones Concert.

Valid points all.

Did anyone call him “ the next Michael Jordan”?

Not sure, but I do know Jaden Smith has the fetuses cell number.

Great. Now I want to go to McDonalds.

I’ve come to be a cynical bastard in my fifth decade on this planet.

Arrest him, put him on a work crew building a wall, release him after 72 hours or whenever all the paperwork is in order.

This guy, this guy is perfect for Florida.

Ha! Their gonna find a way to give you hope before they suck the life outa you. I bet they win their first nine games, then Bridgewater comes back and loses four straight. They then limp into the playoffs, go to Centurylink where the get up 24 points at halftime, only to lose at the end by Bridgewater calling a…

He’s all about the fart. Fart elephants, sucking farts, farts, farts, farts