I suppose what we're talking about—and, on the level of personal interest or preference, I suspect we will continue to disagree here—but this seems to boil down to what I might describe as technical virtuosity applied in a culturally cheesy way.

And what part of that makes Steve Vai not an utter cheese-ball?

Steve Vai is actually quite a skillful guitarist. He worked as a music transcriptionist for Frank Zappa when he was young, (who himself was Julliard trained in strings) and after that apprenticeship, joined Zappa's collection of virtuoso musicians as a talent in his own right. He went on to a notable career in many…

"Wrong way, stupid! I'm backwards!"

Somewhere, Tiger Woods is kicking his own ass for not being an Olympic athlete.

The pasta looks good.

Centuries ago a Spunkfuckshitpiss emigrated to Great Britain but a descendent changed the name to Windsor.

There's no uglier NFL sweater than Andy Reid, halfway through his fourteenth rack of ribs.

you mean that's not Robert downey junior?

Don't blame NBC for broadcasting this. They're used to Bob Costas' constant underdeveloped and insubstantial 'grafs.

Look, to be honest, no one really thought Olga was gonna take the gold. Silver, maybe. But it's no surprise that she came in third here. She is clearly much too willing to let others get to second.

It is unseemly piling-on to point out Rick Reilly's character flaws once you realize he looks like a condom pulled over a foot.

2009: "I'm so lonely."

The worst part is now 2009 Rick Reilly says that his words are being taken completely out of context.

'Pipe Drag's Too Slow; 'Boarders Not Getting High.

That's not HIS baggage, that's YOUR baggage.

So Sam isn't bringing baggage, everyone else is. Got it.

I call bullshit. The only locker room baggage that Herm Edwards can expertly comment about is how to best pack it into a single cardboard box and remove it after being fired.

It's not so strange that it's allowed once you realize it's a toilet and not a wheelchair.