Damn, I was really looking forward to moving to Paris and having a kid named Yoplait.

Eh. A choosy mom would name her baby Jif.

Dog crunching noises = amazing. So unlike human mouth smacking sounds.

I like at the end how she's like "Why aren't you giving me the rest? You're wasting good food there."

I've always had dreams about doing the splits, which I've pretty much never been able to do, even n my younger and flexible-er days. So I guess we're both weird.

Ack! It's been YOUR panties I've been cleaning out of the cages!

Ditto. I love how she's kind of crouched down taking the pic. How many pictures did it take before she got this one? How many angles did she have to try? At any point, did she get down on the floor, or stand on something? How long did Gaga have to hold this pose to get this? So many questions.

The reflection is what I'm obsessed with.

I have dreams about being able to do this. (Literally. I have had multiple dreams about this. Am I normal?) (No, I'm not.)

I don't know why but the reflection, where you can see the person taking the picture, is making me laugh.

Wasn't this decided in Robble v Robble?

This is how I feel when friends say they are ordering "pizzas".

It's "pizze", you fucking cretins! The plural of pizza is pizze, GOD. Now I'm not even hungry for pizza or pizze. Ugh. Just order me me some breadsticks and marinary dipping sauce and tell me how much lira I owe you.

I'm not sure that's the result we're seeing though. Fewer babies would be nice but it's kind of tough to get excited about more testicular cancer and genital birth defects.

Ball cancer is a pretty shitty way to go tho.

I really applaud Ellen for having Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow on her show at the same time, and then finding a game in which neither of them have to speak. Well done.

Every sext from Goop to herself

Pretty sure Johnny has at least one tattoo he regrets...

I've worked with Johnny on a couple films. Dude definitely has a smart phone, and a very friendly posse who like to get various girls' numbers. I don't believe he hasn't sexted. Amber Heard is a babe.

I think your BF has gaslighted you into thinking this is true...it is totally not.

When were you in 8th grade? Was is late 90's? Because I'm p sure I had that same color. Still not sure who in the fuck it was supposed to look good on, cause it sure wasn't me.