“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

since he cant sell burgers at his restaurant and can’t sell his steaks at sharper image, he has to take his beef to twitter.

I’d like to give you a star tomorrow. Will you be home between the hours of 9am to 4pm to accept? If not, I won’t be available until next month.

Wherever they land, they should sell stadium naming rights to Comcast and become the OverChargers.

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

Such a ridiculous double standard when it comes to catching your spouse masturbating. The few times I’ve caught my wife or found out about it later I’m like “Hey now, that’s hot...want some company?” But whenever she catches me it’s all “Gross! What’s wrong with you? At least wait until the funeral is over!”

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Spanish McGregor

Oof. That injury is shocking.

This is a weird fucking picture

My friends and I made a high school film involving the train formation. We are no longer allowed around high schools.

Or a clumsy proctologist

Pictured: Skip Bayless

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Christ, I hope someone is pruning all of the trees at the Peterson estate. Dude’s gonna be angry.

This is correct.

Raiders Fan Knocks Out Raiders Fan In Extremely Slow Fight

I guess there are blind spots on these little Carrs.

Mitch McConnell with mutton chops.