If you can read ONE page out this Harry Potter book, nigga......

-1 for joke that's been made a thousand times. No longer a good joke.

Except Floyd Mayweather Sr.

When reached for comment, Floyd dodged, then weaved, then danced around for about forty minutes, then kinda batted the question away, smiled a lot, and received the award anyway for some fucking reason.

It just needs to flat-out said: Anyone who still believes that smoking marijuana means that you have deficient character....does not belong in this century.

THIS is going to Drew’s legacy. This gif is going to be playing at his funeral lol

Any time this gif can get dropped, it a great day.

I said it a couple of years ago—Chiefs owner Clark Hunt needs to identify his draft targets, then go bring a few dimebags with him to Indy pre-combine and get them fucked up. Boom—your next NFL dynasty, right there in my hometown. Thanks, weed!!

What is it with dancing parents? Am I going to become a terrible dancer when I have kids, too?

Somewhere in his Log Cabin JJ Watt is preparing a Tweet or Instagram response.

damn, beat me to it. time to delete mine.

You shouldn’t be throwing around insults so freely there, Conrad5. You’re just a shitty 5th generation knockoff of the legendary Conrad1. You’ve been riding his coattails for years!

Northern CA is definitely where it’s at. I recommend Sonoma County, Healdsburg has some great little restaurants, and Humboldt County, Ferndale is especially sweet. If you make it down to Monterey County, Big Sur is pretty amazing too—definitely the best county to live in overall. Very glad to live here.

Show up on opening night wearing a name-naming sandwich board detailing your assault.

Correction: the BRZ has better colors and a better badge, but the FRS looks better.

That was an itch that took 10 years to finally scratch!

I would be really afraid that a hard upshift would put that hand right into my nuts, man.

Lee’s scumbag lawyer is absolutely taking advantage of her. Hell, even in the commercial-disguised-as-documentary she and the publishers produced to try and convince people this was all above board she still couldn’t resist talking about how Lee (who is virtually absent from the entire production) “takes suggestions.”

“I’m tired of being the guinea pig for this kind of shit. I hereby announce my resignation and defect to R&T ... thanks a lot for nothing but shit-stained fruits of looms.”