Silva gets banned for 6 months, simultaneously trains for another headlining block buster PPV. Dana White NEVER holds his fighters accountable.

Muriel, you fucking idiot! It's two girls and one cup!

A work partner of mine parks her recent year (2013) Audi Q5 on the street near her house in the bay area. (Her husband's sports car goes in the garage.)

Thanks, sincerely. Importing shall remain a distant fantasy for me... until I get a legitimate windfall.

I figured it would just kind of surface once it gets to the coast.

"America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed."

I have one kidney, a left nut and my first born. Where do I sign?

God I love what turbos can do to anything. You set something on fire next to a turbo, and it doesn't run away, it gets excited.

Rabid anti-dentites!

Actually he was a dentist. Chelsea fans, having never seen one up close, were understandably frightened and confused.

Joke-making by women has been legal for years, and many of us have gotten very good at it.

His car, your wife, my penis...three things large enough

Probably. We would have gotten that one right if you came into my Taco Bell.

Is this why Taco Bell employees frequently take out both the tomatoes AND the sour cream when I ask for no tomatoes? Guys, I am totally on board with paying a ridiculous sour cream premium. I'm cool with that. Just please give me my sour cream.

"I ORDERED WHOLE WHEAT TOAST FOUR TIMES AND YOU GUYS KEEP CUTTING IT IN HALF!"

Apparently, all of the servers in these stories have met my mother.

I am a working cook, as well as an instructor at a culinary school in Canada. I regularly reference BCO in class, trying to prepare my students for the unbelievable fuck-wittery waiting for them out in the 'real' world. These poor kids have no idea what awaits them...

Walker, Ex's Anger.