No. Unless you are going to pick up your date at The Villages.

This article was maybe a joke? I have no idea, but I would be interested in the take of someone who liked/enjoyed make-up on this class. The instructor sounded hilarious, and I 100% agree about the hair streaks. She looks awesome.

I don’t understand her problem, what else would you expect, this is UBER Australia:

It seems no matter what vehicle she attempts to use she’s doomed to be pedestrian.

You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

Rovell: Maybe it turns out racism isn’t even racist. Maybe it turns out the invisible hand is black.

The third shift fry cook at my local McDonald's, who gave me food poisoning last month, is better at his job than Rovell.

oh yeah, let me adjust my entire personality just so you can feel like you can like me more. i’ll get right on that.

so that I can seek out potential pussy options

Slightly related but some theaters in NYC increased security for Straight Out of Compton with cops standing by. A lot of the patrons were incredulous since shooting up movie theaters is a white person thing.

I.. don’t know how to feel about this? If increased security measures make people feel safer, that’s good. But I’m not sure the majority of people working at a movie theater (especially since it’s often like, high school students) know how to properly handle a firearm. Or deal with someone who is equipped with a…

I once sat next to a girl at the movies who produced, seemingly out of nowhere, a steaming hot bowl of French onion soup and proceeded to loudly slurp it for the first 15 minutes of the movie. It was the weirdest and most impressive damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Pitocin labor sucks and I say this as a nurse and someone who had a pitocin labor. I had my first two naturally, but with the third I had to have pitocin and you better believe I had that epidural. I almost named the baby after the anesthesiologist who administered the epidural.

FYI, folks who haven’t pushed a baby out: my shit was also wrecked, but my vag was as tight as ever after about year. I did literally nothing, too. Just, like, 2 kegels whenever I happened to read the word “kegel” in my everyday life. I’m not doubting the author’s story, just saying that there is variation.

I think you should say some more here—such a brilliantly-worded riposte clearly deserves more of an in-depth response.

NO.

okay but that officer is hot tho right

They’re just called bachelors. It’s a positive thing, whereas a spinster is sad and lonely.

I’m glad I’m in a long term relationship because if not I think I’d just give up and become whatever the male version of a spinster is.

When I was an ugly, fat child with braces and glasses it never occurred to me that attractive or even average people could have problems. Here I was a virtual monster, how on earth could a pretty child be unhappy about anything? It took me until my late teens to figure out we all have issues, and that some pretty,…