Who will have a friend or relative die and then be forced to participate in a death-related photoshoot that VERY SAME DAY?

What’s interesting is that I literally COULD NOT find the original/non face-switched version of this photo.

Mrs. Clinton retorts, “Respectfully, if that is your position, then I will talk only to white people about how we are going to deal with a very real problem.”

It’s just because girls go to college to get more knowledge while boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider, NEXT

I’m in denial about my boyfriend JGL’s baby so I will instead comment on how Kendall looks like that thing from Splice.

“Homeless alcoholic jeweler bum”

To be fair, if your parents didn’t make you and your siblings all wear that Old Navy flag shirt every goddamn Fourth of July, are you really even American?

Yes, dubstep. I LOVED dubstep in college and suddenly became Hank Hill upon graduating. Oh god, it’s all toilet sounds!

“Give me a prenup!

They were also big fans of sibling marriage, so this was probably all about trying to get them to stop punching each other in the back seat.

Weird that she knows what I call my lady parts.

I don’t know - but I’d probably pay that much to make the “high fashion mullet” go away.

Her referring to Gwynnie as an IRL veela was so perfect.

Preach. Like yes we all know you are very cool and subversive BUTTT maybe everyone can just have what they like?

Right? Do you, ring-havers. Plus, diamonds aren’t colorless at all - they reflect light and throw rainbows, aka EVERY color there is, sucka!

This madness needs to stop. Stop. Stop stoppity stop.

I volunteer to be the one friend responsible for never letting her glass be empty and validating her hotness/general superiority while making cradle-robbing jokes.

I’d love to be present for the wine-fueled snarkfest Paula Patton is surely having right now.

I KNEW IT

Also, lemon wedges? Why do you hurt us in this way