Your point is well-reasoned and logical. The TSA does not recognize such things.

*immediately reminded of Megyn Kelly’s sudden defense of maternity leave after she needed it, and Cheney’s shutting the fuck up about LGBT rights after his daughter came out*

It’s a tire

Something something smoke one out both ends something something?

Interesting that HE liked cigars...

I think the logic (inasmuch as logic can be applied to our scaremongering leadership) is that it can be disassembled and the blade removed and stuck on a shiv. Personally I don’t buy it, there are easier ways than that to get a blade on a plane, but I think that might be the OTT justification for that draconian rule.

He probably still will, claiming it’s a remnant of the Obama regime.

No one sits next to him: He buys rows 9-11, sits in row 10 and farts the entire trip.

That was my thought, too. I mean you can do damage with a box cutter, but a cigar cutter? First you would have to convince someone to stick ~something~ in it. If the pilot is dumb enough to do that, they probably shouldn’t be flying.

According to our tipster, at around 10 a.m. on May 19, Giuliani had his bags “torn apart for having two cigar cutters and a lighter on him.”

If The Toast were still around I’d tell you to pitch this for “the comments section of every personal essay about feminism”.

trying to decide if ‘dama’ is continuing the bit or actually obtuse, which fact may make this the most artful part of the entire affair

really? because i saw an awful lot of spin up there.

Reading these angry comments like:

It’s satire.

I don’t even understand how there are people that didn’t get it?? Like they’re just commenting without reading right??? Then again there are enough idiots in the world that Donald is president.

Came for both the hilarious comments in response and the comments from people who totally didn’t get this and I am NOT disappointed!

I am better for reading it, though I will be infinitely better when tell others I read it.

Looking forward to my copy of ‘Rothkopf On Joanna: Who Am I? Who I Am, I Who Am.” - the bespoke limited edition, individually numbered and autographed by the author.

Your piece has touched me in a way that confirms I am singularly in tune with a zeitgiest that has past yet never existed. I am better for reading it, though I will be infinitely better when tell others I read it.